In my last post, on December 10th, I had barely touched on the wonderful choices in the Lunchbox Cookbook, when BOOM, one thing after the other, after the other, after the other, and here we are at March 7th! Let's not waste another minute! I'll delve right back into some of the frightening choices offered under the heading "Sandwich Fillings", in which we are advised to "be certain that they [sandwiches] serve their purpose as a planned course of a complete meal." Judging by some of these combos, I think I can make the case that their true purpose is to empty the fridge of leftovers.
Exhibit A: Orange Cheese Spread
Orange- not the color orange, but the flavor orange. This quick-to-fix spread mixes 1/3 cup of grated swiss cheese with 1/2 cup of orange marmalade and two tablespoons of cream. You have no doubt said to yourself on many an occasion "All I have in the fridge is swiss cheese and marmalade - but what a terrific combination!" No? Me neither. Maybe a toasted cheese sandwich. Or a jelly sandwich. But it takes a special kind of culinary mind to see grated swiss and marmalade and think, "Sandwich spread!"
Exhibit B: Ideal Cheese Filling
Cream cheese (3 oz.) chopped stuffed olives (1/4 cup), crumbled Blue or Roquefort cheese (3 tablespoons)....not bad so far. But it needs a little something else, something to add a bit of creaminess. Oh, what the heck, let's just finish off those last few tablespoons of French dressing! Hmmmm....maybe not.
Exhibit C: Citrus Special
1/2 cup peanut butter, 1/4 cup orange juice, 1 tsp. grated orange peel and 1/3 cup of moist, shredded coconut. A lot like a Pina Colada, except with peanut butter instead of pineapple. An obvious substitution.
Exhibit D: Salami Filling
You might be wondering what's so odd about a salami sandwich - but note, this is a salami filling sandwich and therein lies all the difference. Chop up your salami (or just put it through your food processor.) until you have about 3/4 cup. Add: 5 tbsp. salad dressing [ i.e. Miracle Whip], 2 tbsp. each of chopped sweet pickle and finely chopped celery, 1/2 tsp. prepared mustard and 1/4 tsp. onion salt. Voila! A sandwich that changes ordinary salami into a lumpy, pinkish paste.
Exhibit E: Garden Fresh Filling
Cabbage, carrots, salad dressing. What to make of these produce drawer leftovers? Duh - coleslaw, you say? What a dim imagination you have! These ingredients obviously belong in a sandwich. Chop up about a cup of the cabbage, toss in 1/2 cup of grated carrot, a few tablespoons of salad dressing, a sprinkle of celery salt. Well, yes, that is exactly how you make coleslaw. But one special ingredient turns this simple coleslaw into Garden Fresh Filling - 2 tbsp. of chopped peanuts. I, for one, am always trying to come up with ideas for using up that big peanut crop in my garden. Problem solved! And, bonus - that sandwich bread should get nice and wet by lunchtime.
Side note: why is the only person on this flyleaf who appears to do physical labor the portly one?