Frightening Food - Home Edition

I am a good cook overall, but I am a complete failure in one gastronomic category: Fish. Other than the boxed fish 'in your grocer's freezer', the fish I cook comes out underdone. Or it comes out overdone. Somehow I can't manage to find the sweet spot between those two extremes! For example:



This is the end result of three nice pieces of haddock baked in a garlic, butter and wine sauce. The sauce turned out great. The fish, not so much. I kept a diligent eye on it, checking it often once the low end of the 'bake for' time arrived. It was gummy. It wouldn't flake, wouldn't flake, wouldn't flake and then....mush!

This week I am going to try working from the step-by-step instructions in my Best Recipes Cookbook published by Cook's magazine. Wish me luck! And if you have any fish-cooking advice, I'll take any help I can get!



The last Friday's Frightening Food Photo was...

Don't let the neon glow fool you - it's Glazed Stuffed Pork Roast. The recipe actually sounds pretty good (once you get past the first instruction). Family Circle suggests serving it with "spicy pineapple chunks and a zesty top-range "casserole" of squash and tomatoes."

GLAZED STUFFED PORK ROAST

5 to 6 pounds fresh pork shoulder, boned
1 large onion, chopped (1 cup)
4 TBS. (1/2 stick) butter or margarine
1 can (6 oz.) frozen concentrated orange juice
1 package (8 oz.) ready-mix bread stuffing (4 cups)
1/4 tsp. ground sage
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 tsp. prepared mustard
Savory Pork Gravy (recipe follows)

1. Remove skin and trim excess fat from pork
2. Saute onion in butter or margarine just until soft in medium size frying pan. Stir in water and 1/4 cup concentrated orange juice. (Save remaining for Step 4). Heat to boiling; pour over bread stuffing and sage in medium-size bowl; toss lightly with a fork to moisten well.
3. Stuff into pocket in pork, packing in well to fill and give meat a round shape. Tie with string at 1-inch intervals; place on rack in shallow roasting pan. If using a meat thermometer, insert bulb into meaty portion, not the stuffing.
4. Roast in slow oven (325 degrees) 2 hours. Heat saved concentrated orange juice with brown sugar and mustard in small saucepan; brush half of mixture on top of meat. Roast, basting 2 or 3 times with remaining mixture, 1 to 1-1/2 hours longer, or until meat is tender and richly glazed. Thermometer should register 185 degrees.
5. Remove to heated serving platter; keep hot while making gravy. Makes 6 servings with enough left for a casserole.

SAVORY PORK GRAVY
Remove rack from roasting pan. Tip pan and let fat rise in one corner; skim off all fat into a cup, leaving juices in pan. Return 2 TBS. fat to pan; blend in 2 TBS. flour; cook, stirring all the time, just until mixture bubbles. Stir in 2 cups water slowly; continue cooking and stirring,scraping baked-on juices from bottom and sides of pan, until gravy thickens and boils 1 minute. Season with 2 tsp. salt and 1 tsp. vinegar. Strain into gravy dish to remove any bits of stuffing. Makes 2 cups.

What's for Dinner? Meal-Planning Cookbook, Family Circle, 1963

Irresistable Peanut Butter

www.facebook.com/peanutbuttermurphy

Peanut Butter, it seems, shows up in every kind of food imaginable - sandwiches of many varieties, pasta and a host of Asian foods. Much like my aptly named granddog, Peanut, it seems to appeal to everyone. It goes well with pickles and potato chips, tastes great with chocolate and makes a darn good cookie. But there is a place to draw the line on things to mix with peanut butter, and in my opinion, that line comes right before salad. I'm not talking about a few peanuts tossed on top of a salad to add a little crunch. No, I'm talking about Peanut Butter Salad Dressing. The recipe reads like a list of things that go badly with peanut butter. Mustard? Cayenne pepper? Egg yolks? Really? Omitting the peanut butter, this dressing makes a sort of milky vinaigrette. Oh, yummy yum yum. And it cooks up like a pudding. Hmmm....might make a good "dessert" for April Fools' Day!

PEANUT BUTTER SALAD DRESSING
1 tsp. salt
2 TBS. flour
1 tsp. dry mustard
2 TBS. sugar
Dash of cayenne
1/4 cup vinegar
2 egg yolks
1 cup evaporated milk
2 TBS. peanut butter
Blend the salt, flour, mustard, sugar, cayenne; add the egg yolks, mix well; then add the milk. [Interesting run of punctuation, no?] Cook over boiling water until mixture thickens. Stir in the peanut butter, then the vinegar slowly. Thin with milk if too thick. Yield: 1-1/3 cups.
Food for the body for the soul, Moody Bible Institute, 1943 

Friday's Frightening Photo

WHAT IS IT?

You'll Never Think of Necking in the Same Way.....

.... after you find out the contents of Friday's Frightening Food Photo. This, my friends, is a beautiful dish of sliced lamb neck! What I find fascinating is that just as you can sometimes see images in the clouds, I see some distinct images in this mess of necks. To the far right, I see the face of a wolf peering forward. Below that, I see a cartoonish face, looking in the opposite direction. And right at the top, I clearly see the image of a little barking dog.What don't I see? I don't see anything I'd care to eat!

BRAISED LAMB NECK SLICES WITH VEGETABLES

4 double lamb neck slices
2 TBS. flour
2 TBS fat
1 cup water
4 carrots
2-1/2 cups green beans

3 potatoes, pared

salt and pepper

Have double lamb neck slices cut 3/4 to 1 inch thick [this alone might be a barrier to making the dish. Who has a butcher with lamb necks in stock?]. Dredge in flour and brown in hot fat. Add water, cover, and cook slowly for 1 hour. Cut vegetables into small pieces and place in a greased casserole. Season. Place lamb neck slices on top. Pour liquid from neck slices into casserole, cover and place in a slow oven (350 degrees F) Cook until vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes. Serves 4

250 Ways to Prepare Meat, edited by Ruth Berolsheimer, Culinary Arts Institute, 1940

Friday's Frightening Food Photo

WHAT IS IT?

Grandma's Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed

Why am I maligning the mental prowess of dear old Grandma? Let me give you the quote accompanying a photo of what appear to be pumice rocks in a coconut nest, "Liver dumplings with sauerkraut was one of grandmother's best ideas." One of the best? Really? God only knows what she fed the family when she wasn't at the top of her game! Maybe moose nose! [Check out that recipe in the 5/18/11 post.] Liver was BIG in the 1940's. On the same page as the Liver Dumplings there are recipes for Baked Liver Rolls, Braised Liver, Creole Liver, French Fried Liver, Liver a la Bourgeoise, Pan-Broiled Liver, Liver and Ham Loaf, and Liver Birds. The last one, by the way, is made like a halupki, except that liver plays the role of cabbage and bread stuffing plays the part of the ground meat mixture. The picture doesn't help to sell this dish. Does this look like an appealing plate?:

No, I don't think so either. But Grammy Berolzheimer apparently did. Makes you feel sorry for the poor kids for whom this was the best they were served!

LIVER DUMPLINGS

3/4 lb. lamb, beef or pork liver

1/2 onion

1 strip bacon

3 thick slices dry bread

Water

2 eggs, beaten

2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

1 tsp. chopped parsley

1/4 cup sifted flour

1/2 tsp. baking powder

Slice liver and let stand in hot water for ten minutes., then grind with onion and bacon. Soften bread in water and squeeze out as much moisture as possible; add eggs, seasoning, parsley and liver. Sift flour and baking powder together and add to liver mixture. Drop by teaspoons into boiling water. Cover tightly and simmer for 10 to 12 minutes. Serve with fried onions or sauerkraut. Serves 5.

250 Ways to Prepare Meat, edited by Ruth Berolsheimer, Culinary Arts Institute, 1940

Keep Your Tail Covered

Don't you just wish that you had more variety to offer at those many dinners where you serve oxtails? Osso buco, and then what? Tonight's recipe gives you an alternative - cover it with breading and fry. And so convenient; after a mere 2 or 3 hours of boiling your oxtail is tender (maybe),  then a little chopping, dipping and frying and voila!. So next time the kids whine, "Oxtails, again?" you can let them know there is a yummy surprise for them this time around! When it's chopped into pieces like this, it's just like a little fried finger!

BREADED OXTAILS

2 oxtails
3 sprigs parsley, chopped
3 sprigs of thyme
1 bay leaf
Salt and pepper
Dash cayenne pepper
1 egg, beaten
1 cup sifted dry bread crumbs

Wash oxtails and cut into 4" lengths. Cover with boiling water. Add all spices; simmer until tails are tender, 2 to 3 hours. Let cool in the stock. Drain meat, dip into egg and roll in crumbs. Fry in hot deep fat (370 degrees) until brown. Serves 4.

250 Ways to Prepare Meat,  edited by Ruth Berolsheimer, Culinary Arts Institute, 1940

Poor Persecuted Pineapples

I am a big fan of pineapple. My favorite side dish is baked pineapple. I like jello salads with pineapple in them and fruit salads with pineapple mixed in. But there are certain things that a decent, law-abiding citizen should never do to a pineapple - and the Ten P.M. Cook Book is like an instruction manual for all the things you shouldn't do. This cookbook was published in 1958, when people apparently put on their tuxes and cocktail dresses and had amusing little parties at 10. It has one of those luridly-colored covers that make the featured dish (Cherry Peach Flambe) appear radioactive. Frightening foods are bountiful (Exhibit 1: Cocktail Prunes - Pit cooked prunes and fill with peanut butter or cream cheese mixed with deviled ham. More to come, another day) but pineapple stands out for the variety of recipes in which its taste and dignity are ruined. Here are some examples:

Cranberry Pineapple Chunks - pineapple chunks dipped in a mixture of mashed jellied cranberry sauce, vinegar and mustard.

Buffet Pineapple - wash and dry the pineapple (leaving the rind on it) then cut around each eye, creating a cone that guests can pluck out and nibble. "Calorie counters enjoy their pineapple as is. For others, provide bowls of rum [!], chive cream cheese thinned with milk, and mayonnaise mixed with curry for dipping". No doubt most guests claim to be watching their weight.
Tuna Pineapple Dip - a can of crushed pineapple with a little juice, a block of cream cheese and a can of chunk-style tuna with a dash of salt and a dash of nutmeg, all "well-blended", then mixed with  avocado chunks and topped with a sprinkle of nutmeg. Served on crackers, although the "calorie-watchers" are advised to use celery sticks.
Anchovy-Pineapple Bites - Cream cheese again, mixed with a bit of pineapple juice, then spread on crackers and topped with an anchovy fillet [what, only one?] and pineapple tidbits.
Pineapple-Salad Mold - Lemon jello and pineapple,with the addition of grated cheddar and a little whipped cream once it is partly set. When unmolded, it is garnished with walnuts and maraschino cherries, and gets a little endive tucked in around the edges. Then, it's served with French dressing!

There are a few decent uses for pineapple mixed in here and there. Here's one to make up for all those yucky ones!

PINEAPPLE-CRUMB SQUARES
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
2 TBS. granulated sugar
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
1 pkg. vanilla pudding
1 1/4 cup water
1/2 cup syrup from pineapple
1/2 cup drained, crushed pineapple
1/4 cup flaked coconut

Start heating oven to 375 degrees. Combine crumbs, sugar and butter; firmly press one-third of mixture into bottom of a 8"x8"x2" cake pan. Bake 5 minutes; cool. Meanwhile, in saucepan, combine pudding, water and pineapple syrup. Cook over medium heat, stirring, until mixture comes to a full boil. Add pineapple; cool 5 minutes, stirring once or twice. Pour over crumbs in pan. Sprinkle reserved crumbs and coconut over top. Refrigerate several hours, or until firm. Serve cut into squares, with sweetened whipped cream, if desired. Makes 6 to 9 servings.

GOOD HOUSEKEEPING'S Ten P.M. Cook Book, refreshments designed with guests in mind

Appetizers for Mrs. Sprat

When I posted the recipe for goose fat fried in goose fat, I thought that that was about the most fat that you could work into a meal. I was so, so wrong. For sheer quantity of fat, I don't think today's recipe can be beat. I didn't even know this type of fat existed, and I could have lived happily ever after in that state of ignorance. But I bought the cookbook, I read the recipe, and now I know the whole ugly story which will no doubt linger in my mind for a sadly long time. Why must fat be so persistent? The subtitle of this recipe could be "How to transform pork into a blob of fat in 4 easy steps." The French have a lot to answer for.

RILLETTES DE TOURS

3 pounds of lard (kidney fat)
3 pounds fresh pork (shoulder, loin or leg), cut into small pieces
1 cup water
Salt, freshly ground black pepper

Render the leaf lard in a large pot. When it is melted, add the pork and water. Cover and cook slowly on top of the stove or in a 250 to 300 degree oven until the meat is so tender that it almost falls apart; this will take about 4 hours.Remove the meat from the fat and shred it with two forks. Season to taste with salt and pepper.Spoon the shredded pork into small pots with some of the fat, mashing so that the pork absorbs the fat. Ladle enough fat on top to make an airtight cover over the Rillettes. To serve as an hors d-oeuvre, spread on toast.

Bad from the Bone

Splurge and buy a big one. That's the advice we get from Family Circle's What's for Dinner Meal Planning Cookbook when it comes to smoked tongue. "When nutritious smoked tongue is on the menu, splurge and buy a big one, for it can be served in so many ways. Here it's sliced hot to eat with a tangy fruit sauce. What's left will keep well for sandwiches or a supper meat-and-salad plate." What's worse than tongue for dinner? Leftover tongue for dinner, I suspect. But no tongue for us today. Today's recipe is from yet another, heretofore unexplored, part of the cow - the bones! My question is, why would you ruin perfectly good dumplings by adding beef bone marrow? Protein? Not really necessary when they are to be served atop a beef stew. I suspect it's - as the PA Dutch say - just for so. Wouldn't want to waste valuable bones, would we?

MARROW DUMPLINGS

Beef marrow from a 3- to 4-inch beef marrowbone (1/2 cup mashed)
1 egg
1 cup soft bread crumbs (2 slices)
1 TBS. chopped parsley
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp. pepper

Cut out marrow from bone with a sharp, thin-blade knife; mash and place in a small bowl. Stir in remaining ingredients until well blended. Form lightly into marble-size balls. Set in a shallow pan; chill at least one hour. (Dumplings hold their shape better when chilled before cooking.) Makes about 12 dumplings. [Arrange dumplings on top of a bubbling beef stew; cover and cook five minutes.]
What's for Dinner Meal Planning Cookbook, Family Circle, Inc., 1963

A Veddy British Dish

Pudding [noun]: a thick, soft dessert, typically containing flour or some other thickener, milk, eggs, a flavoring, and sweetener. Note that this definition clearly does not include potatoes. Nor does it refer anywhere to suet, which has only one proper place in a dessert - mincemeat pie. Yet both ingredients have a prominent place in today's recipe, the unappealing named Dessert Vegetable Pudding.  "Would you like some pudding for dessert?" "I sure would!" "Here, have a nice big helping. By the way, it's vegetable pudding Nyah-hah-hah!" Apparently, this recipe is for one of those steamed puddings that always seem to be served at some point in British murder mysteries. An excellent example of why "British cuisine" is considered an oxymoron.

DESSERT VEGETABLE PUDDING

1-1/2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup grated raw carrot
1 cup grated raw potato
1 cup raisins
1 cup suet
1 tsp. soda, dissolved in 1 tsp. hot water
1 tsp.salt
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/2 cup nuts, if desired
Combine sugar, carrots and potatoes [I bet this is the one and only recipe you will see with that particular instruction!]. Add soda. Sift flour, salt and spices and add gradually. Add raisins, suet and nuts. Turn into a buttered bowl or mold; cover with aluminum foil and steam for 3 hours. Serve with your favorite lemon or brandy sauce. Serves 6.

Recipe from: A Collection of the VERY FINEST RECIPES ever assembled into one Cookbook CONVENTIONAL AND MICROWAVE

Pattycake, Pattycake

I passed over the recipe for Tripe Stew, since I've harped on tripe before, even though this one included hot peppers, hominy and 2 - yes, 2! - small bottles of hot sauce. Spicy! The next recipe caught my eye, too. I guess you could say it's a bit like potato pancakes, but it has no potatoes and no flour. It's a bit like a whole-grain pancake, but it includes onions and cream of mushroom soup, so that comparison's a stretch. It may be that there is just nothing quite like it. I suspect that's a good thing, because as I visualize this combination of ingredients, the picture that comes to mind is...well, never mind. Once you picture this combo, I'm sure you'll have a similar idea.

OATMEAL COTTAGE CHEESE PATTIES
1 cup cottage cheese (may use low-fat)
1-1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 medium onion, chopped (or onion powder)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 to 1 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

Sauce:
2 cans cream of mushroom soup - 10-3/4 oz.
1 can evaporated milk - 10-3/4 oz. (may use diluted for less calories)

Mix ingredients well. Heat prepared frying pan on medium or low heat and spread large spoonfuls of mixture into the shape of patties about 1/2" to 3/4" thick in frying pan. Cover and cook until lower side is brown, about 5 minutes; turn patties and brown other side. Place in casserole pan or shallow dish. Pour hot sauce over patties. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 min. or microwave on full power 10 minutes. Serves 6.
To prepare sauce, place the contents of 2 cans of mushroom soup in saucepan. Add one can evaporated milk; stir well to mix then stir occasionally while heating. Optional: May use tomato soup instead of mushroom soup for sauce.

The Perfect Meal for a Drunk, Spunky Wino

A Collection of the VERY FINEST RECIPES ever assembled into one Cookbook CONVENTIONAL AND MICROWAVE is actually full of recipes that sound great. They  ["they" meaning the anonymous writers/editors responsible for this book] include a large number of authentic ethnic recipes, including one for a Russian meat pie that I never thought I would get to taste again. I probably have as many pages marked for recipes I want to try as I do for possible frightening food subjects. Questionable recipes like Avocado Cake, Deviled Egg-Stuffed Flounder Rolls and Oatmeal Cottage Cheese  Patties are offset by tempting recipes for Ukranian Kolach, fresh Mushroom Soup and Crab-Stuffed Chicken Breasts. The variety of recipe styles suggests that this is a collection of recipes from a wide variety of unnamed sources - thus, we don't know who to thank for the boozy meal that follows. Whoever wrote the entree recipe clearly was sipping on the aprict brandy before choosing the name, while the jello salad contributor was definitely the pragmatic type. Just to round out the meal, let's have some after-dinner coffee, too.  Remember, though, safety first: don't eat and drive!

PHEASANT - ALL DRUNK & SPUNKY
 2 large Pheasants
salt and pepper to taste
1 medium orange, quartered
2 celery stalks, halved
1 cup apricot-pineapple preserves
1/2 cup apricot brandy
4 strips of bacon

Stuff 2 pieces of orange and 2 pieces of celery into the cavity of birds. Tie legs closed with kitchen thread. Place in large roasting pan. Heat broiler to 400 degrees.
Heat mixture [of preserves and brandy] carefully in saucepan until preserves are melted. Spoon some of the mixture over pheasants to glaze. Place pan with birds in broiler for 7 - 10 minutes, until birds are beautifully browned. Remove and spoon additional sauce over birds. Place 2 strips of bacon over each bird and roast at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for 45 minutes, basting every 10 minutes with glaze. Remove and discard orange and celery and serve.  Note: 5 minutes before serving, you may pour 1/3 cup brandy over your birds.

WINE JELLO
2 TBS. unflavored gelatin
1 cup sugar
2 cups boiling water
1/3 cup orange juice
3 TBS. lemon juice
1 cup wine, either sherry, claret or a rose is delicious

Mix the gelatin and sugar well in a bowl. Add boiling water and stir until dissolved. Add juices and wine. Mold and chill. Serves 6 to 8 as a dessert, 12 as an accompaniment  for poultry.

IRISH COFFEE en GELEE
1-1/2 TBS. good instant coffee
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
4 TBS. sugar
2 cups water
2 oz. Irish whiskey

Put 1/2 cup cold water in a saucepan. Sprinkle with gelatin. Add 1-1/2 cups hot water. Stir to dissolve gelatin over heat. Add sugar and Irish whiskey. Stir until blended. Pour into small serving dishes. Chill until firm. Serve with whipped cream. This is an excellent light dessert.

Tom and Jerry in the Kitchen

Today's recipe is not so much frightening food as weird food. While I was flipping through the Miscellaneous section of A Collection of the VERY FINEST RECIPES ever assembled into one Cookbook CONVENTIONAL AND MICROWAVE (yes, that is actually the title of this cookbook!), my eye was naturally drawn to the recipe for "Tom and Jerry Batter".  Of course, I immediately thought of the cartoon, then tried to picture what type of batter would merit an association with Tom and Jerry. Some type of cheesecake? Maybe one of those little mouse-shaped chocolate-covered mousse cakes? Well, I could have guessed until the cows came home (not that we have cows, but they are right down the road) without guessing what you would make with Tom and Jerry Batter because, ladies and gentlemen, it turns out to be the secret ingredient in a wassail-like hot drink. At first, I thought bellying up to the bar at your local watering hole and ordering "one of those drinks you make with Tom and Jerry Batter" would earn you nothing more than a blank look. I was willing to bet that none of the 200 drinks my daughter is learning to make at bartending school would feature Tom and Jerry Batter as an ingredient. Now that I've Googled the name, though, I'm questioning those assumptions. There are lots of entries for Tom and Jerry Batter on recipe websites, and apparently it's even sold commercially!

Although whoever wrote this recipe (the authorship of the cookbook is totally anonymous) claims it's, "The best ever!" I can't even decide if this drink sounds good or bad. If you decide to give this recipe a try, don't worry that you'll have to finish off the dozen eggs' worth of batter in one fell swoop -  it lasts for weeks in the fridge and months in the freezer. Plenty of time for you to put together a Tom and Jerry theme party. Let me know when to show up.

TOM AND JERRY BATTER

12 eggs, separated

1/2 tsp. salt

1 lb. butter of margarine, at room temperature

3 lbs. powdered sugar

1 tsp. each vanilla and rum (or brandy) flavoring

1 tsp. mace

1 tsp. nutmeg

1 tsp. cloves

1 tsp. allspice

Beat egg whites until stiff; add salt. Beat egg yolks until light. Cream butter and powdered sugar and mix until crumbly. Add egg yolks and flavorings; mix well. Add spices and egg whites. Beat until well mixed. Batter will keep for several weeks in the refrigerator. May be frozen, covered, for several months. Use 1 heaping tablespoon of batter for each Tom and Jerry serving. Drop batter into a hot mug and pour in 1 jigger of rum or brandy and boiling hot water. Sprinkle with nutmeg. The best ever! 

Chowderheads and Weiners

Ah, chowder, the quintessential soup of New England. Corn, potatoes and broth, with or without clams; a soup that's an American tradition. Maybe that's why this German version seems so wrong. If I asked you to name 10 ingredients that might be found in a bowl of chowder, what would you say? I'll wait a moment while you make your list................................................. Okay, name your 'ten likely ingredients'. Sauerkraut is not on that list, is it? How about all beef weiners?

Yes, lolcat, weiners. There is one thing this recipe has going for it though - you just dump the ingedients in the pot, heat for 15 minutes, and dinner is ready. Introduce it as Beefy Mushroom Soup and maybe the family will go for it.

 GERMAN CHOWDER
1 pound package sauerkraut
3 cups beef broth
1 onion, chopped fine
1/4 pound mushrooms, sliced
4 beef frankfurters, sliced very thin so they will curl when cooked
1/4 tsp. paprika
Salt and pepper

Mix together the first five ingredients and bring to a boil. Simmer 15 minutes; add spices and serve.

Truly Unusual Soups, Lu Lockwood, Pequot Press, 1977

Daring Yet Frugal

According to Lu Lockwood, author of Truly Unusual Soups, there is one soup in her recipe collection that requires an adventurous spirit. Given the name of the book, and what I read as I leafed through it, more than one of her soups requires a certain derring-do to slurp up. Today's recipe, though, is also directed to the truly frugal. Let's say you had a potluck dinner and someone brought an overabundance of green salad and put dressing on everything in the bowl. That's not going to stay fresh to be eaten as leftovers - the greens will suck up all the dressing and go totally limp. But, never fear, Lu offers a recipe that will keep those greens from going to waste. I think her comment at the end of the recipe gives fair warning: "Like nothing else you've ever tasted." Note that she doesn't claim that it's 'better than anything you've ever tasted' or 'surprisingly good' or even "better than wasting food.". Are you bold enough - or cheap enough - to try it?

MOLLY'S LEFT OVER SALAD SOUP

If you have 2 cups of leftover green salad, and an adventurous but sometimes parsimonious spirit, saute a sliced peeled potato in 3 TBS. of butter. When the potatoes are golden, add two cans of chicken broth and cook 15 minutes. Add the salad remains (don't drain the dressing) and your favorite herb (dill, basil, oregano, rosemary) and simmer for another 10 minutes or until the potatoes are tender. Pour the whole thing into your blender and whirl for a couple of minutes. Like nothing else you've ever tasted!



Soup Cubed

People have been inspired to do all kind of things with gelatin (and in some cases, in gelatin), with a wide range of results. There's the Good:

the Bad:

and the Ugly:

The bad, by the way, is a faux turkey made of gelatin and avocados. You have to wonder, "Who thinks of these things?" And, "Why?" Of course, that could be the mantra for the whole frightening food blog. Should today's recipe from the Truly Unusual Soups cookbook really be considered a soup at all? It's served in cubes, for pete's sake! Well, Lu Lockwood says it is, and who am I to argue with Lu, who has owned 2 hotels, a catering business and 2 restaurants? Sequentially. She seems to move on somewhat frequently. Maybe I'm not the only one who begs to differ with her idea of "good" food. Pickle-flavored Jello ®? Just say NO!

JELLIED CUCUMBER SOUP

4 cucumbers, peeled, seeded and sliced

1 onion, sliced

1 tsp. mixed pickling spices

5 cups water

1 TBS. chopped parsley

2 envelopes unflavored gelatin

1/2 cup cold water

4 TBS. sour cream

Place the cucumbers, onions. spices and water into the saucepan. Bring to a boil and simmer 1/2 hour. Pour through a sieve, pressing the cucumber through as much as possible. Take the soup and add the parsley, salt and pepper. Soften gelatin in 1/2 cup of cold water. Stir into the soup. Let soup cool and pour into a shallow pan to set. When soup has jelled, chop into small cubes and serve in champagne glasses with a dollop of sour cream.

Truly Unusual Soups, Lu Lockwood, 1977 

Just Ducky

Truly Unusual Soups. What a promising name for a book to be culled for frightening food recipes! Alas, although there really are a lot of unusual recipes, many of them actually sound good. Our featured recipe is not from among those! Can you guess what it is from the picture? Duck Soup, you say? Very close, but no cigar - note the tomato-red broth. Give up? It's Duck Gumbo! Ordinarily, gumbo includes okra, a vegetable that cooks to a snot-like consistency. This one doesn't - but the duck pieces and giblet water together qualify this twist on a traditional cajun dish as a frightening food. The comments in regular parentheses are from cookbook author Lu Lockwood. I love how she orders you to contract out the yuckiest part of the recipe. The grammar and punctuation (or lack thereof) are all hers, too. Maybe she wrote out this recipe after testing recipes from two of her other books - Cooking with Beer and Cooking with Scotch!

DUCK GUMBO
(Very Special)

1 Duck, cut up into small pieces (have butcher chop up duck)
1/4 cup salt and pepper [really, this is what it says!]
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup bacon drippings
1 large onion, chopped fine
2 large peeled tomatoes, cut up
3 tablespoons of flour
3 cups giblet water

Boil giblets in 4 cups of water to 1/2 hour and set aside.
Season duck pieces and roll each in flour, fry in bacon drippings until tender. About 10 minutes. Remove from pan add onions and tomatoes saute a few minutes.  Add tablespoon of flour and stirring over heat with onions and tomatoes until flour all disappears. Add giblet water and duck, cook over low temperature for 2 hours. Taste for seasoning. Serve over rice.

Truly Unusual Soups, Lu Lockwood, 1977



A Rose by any Other Name.....

would smell as sweet. Perhaps not - what if it was named Athlete's Food Plant? You might not want to get near enough to find out if it is sweet - or noxious!  Many recipes in my collection of vintage cookbooks are placed at a disadvantage by their selected name. Water-fried Onions, anyone? Sounds like a soupy messy, but it's only carmelized onions that are then cooked a little longer by adding 1/4 cup of water to the pan and letting it evaporate.  Or Salad Soup? Doesn't sound as appealing as Gazpacho, but it's about the same thing. How about Beerocks?I thought it would be some conflation of beer and rock-hard somethings, but it's a version of the Welsh pasty, or hot pocket, made with a potato bread crust. The clear winners in the bad name contest , though, are the authors of The Pennsylvania Dutch Cookbook. I think the recipe for Boova Shenkel takes the prize. A silly name, but not that bad, you say? Allow me to translate: Boy's Legs. What? You read that right: Boy's Legs.

Where the name came from is hard to imagine. The only similarity I see is that most boys have two legs, and this recipe makes two giant potato-stuffed pierogies (about calzone size). I actually can't decide if this one sounds good or bad. I think I would prefer that the beef served on top of this was in gravy rather than broth. What do you think?

 BOOVA SHENKEL (Boy's Legs)

3 lbs. beef for stewing
2 tsp. salt
12 medium potatoes, washed, pared and thinly sliced
3 TBS. butter
1/3 cup minced onion
2 TBS. minced parsley
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
3 eggs, beaten
2 1/2 cups sifted flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 TBS. lard
2 TBS. shortening
8 to 10 TBS. cold water

Cut meat into piecves and place into Dutch oven. Cover with water, add salt and simmer for 2 hours. Cook potatoes until tender; drain. Mix in butter, onion, parsley, salt and pepper. Add eggs and beat mixture lightly. Set aside. Sift together the flour, baking powder and 1/2 tsp. salt. Cut in the lard and shortening with a pastry blender or two knives. Add water, using only enough to hold the dough together. Work quickly; do not overhandle. Shape into a ball. Using 1/2 of dough, roll on a floured surface into a 10" round about 1/8" thick. With a knife or spatula, loosen dough from surface whenever sticking occurs; lift dough and sprinkle flour underneath. Spread one half of the potato filling on one half of the round. Fold dough in half over filling. Press edges together with tines of fork to seal. Set aside. Repeat process for remaining half of dough. Carefully drop the two filled pastries into the boiling broth with the meat. Cover and simmer about 25 minutes. Arrange the Boova Shenkel on a platter and pour hot sauce over pastries. Serve immediately. 8 to 10 servings

The Pennsylvania Dutch Cookbook, 1977, Culinary Arts Press